Ben Parkinson said:

Women often selfishly seize the role of child carer to their own detriment, thinking that they have no other potentials. Aside from women not achieving their potential, this imbalance causes men to feel uncomfortable spending time with children and other societal pressures have similar corresponding impacts. In Africa and elsewhere in the developing nations, where men are generally better educated, this is surely even more counterproductive? Surely men are just as important as women in a child's life, but in most cultures there is not equality?

Linda has already addressed the "selfish" accusaction, but do allow me to point out that children, quite literally, suck the life out of their mothers. First via the embilical, then when they nurse. The nurturing of a child grows even more complicated and demanding from the time they are weaned.

That being said, let me assure you that a bad day spent with my children is better then a good day spent working for someone else, any day of the week!

This thought leads me to Ben's next suggestion that nurturing a child prevents a woman from "achieving [her] true potential". This statement completely devalues children and the skill sets that are necessary to train a succesful adult. Everyday I am preparing my daughters to function without me. In between wiping bottoms and washing clothes, my interactions with my children are changing the world. If a thinking man's perception of motherhood is that it limit's one's potential, perhaps this is why men assume different roles from women in parenting.

I give to my children, but the intangibles I receive are immeasurable. Being a mother is much like being an elastic band. We are constantly stretched. Yet, once released, we never return to our original size. Our abilibites only expand.

I have not achieved my potential? Is the measure of my potential based soley on my contribution to the work force or my field of study? Consider this: The short term reduction in my professional out put will be more then compensated for by the quadrupeling (if my math is right, me + 3 daughters) of my matured efforts. Mothers do not spend time with their children, they invest in their children. Even the most succesful farmer can only feed a limited number of people while she works the fields. Let her devout time to teaching her skills to other farmers and then how many will be fed?

Finally, I agree that Father's are essential in a child's life and their roles are often diminished to that of income provider. In America, income potential is equated with power and all unemployed members of the family are labled "dependents". There are many places I can go with this, but I am not sure those discussion will directly benefit the learning thread.

Who was is that accused me of going off topic?...I believe it is time for me to stop talking and start listening.