:Title: Gifts :Author: Linda Nowakowski :Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2007 16:45:46 PDT :Modified: Sat, 02 Feb 2008 02:14:46 PST :URL: http://www.ned.com/user/u523412994/news/1/ In Thailand, when a man becomes a monk he gives up everything (theoretically): home, clothing (3-4 robes, period). He depends on the generosity of the people around him. He sleeps where it is available and maybe his roof is the tree. He has a couple of robes (one to wear while one is being washed and maybe 1 or two more to protect him from the elements. And he eats a single meal a day, before noon, which he gets by walking on alms round each day. .. image :: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1198/540477371_56c1b2e689.jpg People either wait in front of their homes or at a local gathering place or even sometimes go to the wat, and share part of what they have prepared for themselves. These gifts, dana, are an opportunity for the people to "make merit" and share with their community. .. image :: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1151/540477377_8b99b732b3.jpg I had a neighbor lady in Bangkok who every day for the over two years I lived there, waited outside her house to give food to the monks and then I would get to hear them chant prayers every morning at about 6 am. (It was an incredible alarm clock!) Every day, this woman got up and prepared the food for her family for the day and then started each morning with an act of giving of her goods, her time and her concern. The author of the particular article in the book was talking about the hit that dana has taken in the modern, western, consumerist culture that is now Thailand - or at least Bangkok. As the world has become more commoditized and more about money, the power of these gifts has disappeared. People go out to the market in the morning and buy food in plastic bags and put the plastic bags in the alms bowl. They don't spend the time making the food and thinking about both the making and the sharing (with family and the monks). In my mind, the gift is about sharing not giving. When I lived in Pittsburgh, one of my "projects" was 2, 3, 4 times a month I organized a group of people to go down to a homeless shelter on the Northside and prepare a meal. There were people who would give me money for "my" project. There were some people who would cook and bring me the food. And there were a very few who would go with me to serve the meal and share it with the men. I could not have done the work with out all of those gifts. BUT...I soon found out that the gift that the men wanted, needed, appreciated (???) most was those of us who went down there and talked to them and shared with them. I found out early on that many of the groups that volunteered there had a fixed menu that was easy to prepare and they prepared it every time. Found that out when I had fixed something different and heard a comment that it was the first time in over a week that they had had something other than meatloaf. They were not complaining, just commenting. But when I asked them what they would like to have for dinner....whoa! They wanted sandwiches - peanut butter and jelly, hot dogs...hamburgers. My mom's vegetable soup! Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! They wanted baked beans and beans and rice. So, I got out a pencil and paper and started making menus. One night we had a picnic in the street. Meals are more than food. One Christmas, it turned out that the night that I had chosen was Christmas Eve. The shelter had canceled the volunteers for Christmas Day so I decided that these guys should have the Christmas dinner that I would share with my family. I took the money that some of the people gave me and I bought roast beef. I got some of the people who would cook for me to make homemade Christmas Cookies and home made apple pies. I peeled potatoes for hours and hours and hours. And then I ironed table cloths and napkins and went out and bought flowers and got dishes from the church kitchen. When the men got there for dinner that night, there were flowers on the table and no paper plates. The dinner was by candle light and there was music. As we all stood for one of the men to pray before dinner, one of the men was over heard turning to the man next to him and saying "That's a real table cloth." That night as we sat with them at dinner, there were such incredible stories. There was nostalgia (just like at your house) and there were tears. As we cleaned up and said we needed to get going so we could make it back to church for the late service, some of the men asked if they could come with us. As we cleaned up, so did they. That night, as I and the other members of my congregation watched these homeless men literally empty their pockets into the offering plates we found out what giving was. And as I drove them back to the shelter, there was a quietness that spoke volumes. One of the men that night decided to call his sister to whom he had not spoken for many years. On Christmas Day he reconnected with his family and shared his problems with them, and they lovingly, welcomed him home. A year later, he contacted me and said he had heard I was serving dinner on Christmas day and could he help. He had gotten his life back together and wanted to share what he had. It is only one man. It is a story to each of you. To me it was a lesson that marked my life forever. No...it was many lessons. It was a lesson in giving and sharing. It was a lesson in family and interconnectedness. It was a lesson in looking deeper than clothing or skin. I am sitting here now crying and chastising myself for neglecting those lessons. I wish that I could be reminded each day of those lessons because they are transforming. The most important lessons we learn in life happen when we open ourselves to share and experience with someone else. This community at has people in it who do those things and do them well. Important lessons are learned when we open ourself up to risk and the possibility of failure. We can not learn without that and we can never truly succeed without that. The challenge here in this community is figuring out how to feed, water, nurture and encourage that openness in a place like the internet where hiding behind fake names and guarding ourselves becomes more common each day. It is about how to provide safe places where people can gather, share and grow....and make good things happen in order to make the world a better place. **EDIT** The book I was referring to above was "Hooked!" Edited by Stephanie Kazan. It is a great book on the Buddhist perspective on consumerism.